Bryan is Here!!!!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The aftermath of Coming out..and an update

I posted my "coming out" statement on faceb**k Saturday morning.  I posted a note about our journey without going into the nitty gritty on Tuesday.  Today I will be posting's Do's and Dont's of Support article (assuming I can find the article on their site to link to...does anyone have it?  I have the article, but the link doesn't work).

 The reaction I have gotten this week has been surprising to say the least.  There are about a half of a dozen friends who have commented, all showing amazing support, and everyone else has been silent.  I wasn't really expecting a barrage of comments, but I was expecting more then I got.  On the up side, I did have one friend, K, who just got married a little less than a year ago that asked if I had any advice for someone who wasn't trying yet but would be soon.  This is what I told her:
   "Don't take your body for granted that it will work the way its supposed to.  Be your own biggest advocate, and do everything you can to learn how your body is (or isn't) working BEFORE you go to the doctor.  Invest in a Basil Body Thermometor AS SOON as you stop any hormonal birth control.  If I had started temping 6 months earlier, my PCOS diagnosis would have been 6 months earlier, and who knows how much of a difference that would have made."

I don't think I was off base, but I do struggle with how much to offer her, She is the wife of a close highschool friend, and I don't know HER that well.  I'm thinking of just sending her a private message letting her know that I am here and willing to offer her whatever help she needs now and as they begin their journey to parenthood.  I pray that she won't have to go through what I have, but I want her to know that if she does, I'm here and I get it.

**Topic Switch**
I am so incredibly happy for Kate over at Busted Plumbing.  She had her second coming out of the week when she announced her pregnancy on twitter and on her blog.  Also, in case you didn't know, the Subfertile Frugalista, Christina made her Faceb**k pregnancy announcement this week too.  I am so happy for these women, they deserve this so much, but at the same time I am sad for me.  I look at my Google Reader, and its becoming more and more that the bloggers I follow are now pregnant.  Its really hard, especially when I consider that I should be 22 weeks along at this point.  I should be spending my time decorating a nursery and shopping for stuff not injecting my self and having apointments with Mr. Wandy. 

I have to remain positive I know, or this 2ww will be unbearable, but Mother's day has crept up on me again.  And to make matters worse, my booster HCG shot will be on Monday, so I won't even be able to test on Mother's Day.  I'll have to wait until Wednesday to find out if this IUI worked.  I have (guarded) high hopes, we had a couple of AMAZING follicles.  It just so hard after so much dissappointment to be optimistic.

**Topic Switch**
Does anyone know of anyone using Br@velle as a stim med?  I have 4 vials that I will not be using anymore (we switched my meds) and I would love to donate them another IFer.  Unfortunatly my clinic doesn't take meds unless you can hand bring them in and since we're 3 hours away, I'm not making that drive.  E-mail me if you know of someone.


  1. It is pretty odd how some people clam up when infertility is being discussed. I am very open on my FB about our infertility and I find it very interesting that two of my sisters NEVER comment. Never leave encouraging words, never "like" my statuses etc. I get it - they are fertile myrtles and my infertility weirds them out. Just know that you are touching more people than are commenting!

    Good luck with the 2ww I should be O'ing soon, so we may be in the 2ww together.

    I know what you mean about your Google reader...mine is the same.

    Good luck!

  2. I love what you told your friend about not taking her body for granted. I think if most people went into the TTC journey not thinking that everything would be fine and instead thought "omg what if I can't" then maybe the support out there would be greater.

  3. You are so brave for coming out of the closet. I went half way out but posting two links in honor of IF awareness week. I got almost no replies, but the person who is writing about their dogs gets 10 comments. I will never understand people.....

  4. I'm sorry that you didn't get more support. Sad to say, from my 11 years or so of experience, the one way to find out who your friends really are is to talk about your infertility and see who responds. Overall, as hard as it is to admit, most people don't know how to respond or won't engage in the conversation because they don't know what to say. But it is your journey, and embracing it as such, and being proud and strong in light of it, is a truly wonderful thing indeed. Blessings of your journey.

  5. I'm also sorry you didn't get more support- I noticed that trend on FB though. I always get all sorts of comments on my stupid updates, but hardly any of the ones that actually mean something to me. It's like a barrier, or people not knowing what to say or do- I don't know, but it does sting when they just remain silent. (*hugs*)

    Good luck with this cycle :)


Comments are moderated. Please be respectful. You have the right to disagree with me, you do not have the right to disrespect me.