As for me, I'm still in a holding pattern. Sitting in what is hopefully the 2ww of break cycle #1 (CD 19), and just coming to the realization that I'm going to spend yet ANOTHER mother's day as a non-mother. UGH. This just plain sucks. I'm not even sure I did ovulate this cycle, and if I did it was probably a week ago (based on my body signals I'm not temping) so I've gon from o'ing WAY late (CD18-19) to WAY Early (12-13). And too top it off I feel like crap. I'm so blaoted today that my favorite skirt, which usually is even a little on the big side, is tight across my lower abdomen. BOO. I stepped on the scale this morning and am up 2 pounds from Monday. Double BOO. I can't get motivated to stick to the No Amylose diet, even though I know its what I NEED to be doing to make this work. I'm bummed about having to miss ANOTHER cycle because we can't get in to see Dr. RE sooner than the end of April. I'm irritated with insurance because they wouldn't grant my continuation of care and I have to pay out of network costs for my consults. I'm annoyed because I have to drive 2 hours to have a conversation that lasts 20 minutes and really could be done over the phone, so not only are there the out-of-network costs there are the gas costs and the time off work costs. I'm pissed because I have a "beautiful anatomy" except I still can't get (and stay) pregnant without intervation. I'm frustrated because we spent a year chasing my problems only to find out A has issues too that could have been dealt with while we were waiting for Dr. RE the first time. I'm generally cranky about the whole thing. HMMM think I'm PMS'ing?
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Deary---don't think yourself as a non-mother. You're a future mama, that's for sure. And you're a mama who will have wanted your baby (babies) so much more than some women who seem to be pregnant at the drop of their pants! Hang in there....and don't ever forget that you're not alone in the boat!!!
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