Bryan is Here!!!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Emotional Meltdown #1

I think it was inevitable...between starting the injections this weekend by myself, one of the fosters (dogs not kids) having 5 seizures over the course of 26 hours while A was still out of town, finally getting to the day of a major conference that I have been planning since March, a house that looks like a tornado came through it and house guests coming on Thursday, a major deadline that has to be met come hell or high water on Wednesday,   and then add to that the stress I've been feeling from a volunteer position at my church...I had a major meltdown tonight.  I'm still not 100% recovered...I start thinking about what happened tonight to trigger the waterworks and I think I'm going to start up again. 

Why is it so hard to choose between what is best for the greater whole and what is best for you?  I am really struggling about whether or not I should continue in my current volunteer position at my church.  A thinks that I should just quit...either that or he's just saying that so I will actually take some action.  The truth is I really haven't felt worshipful for weeks...maybe months.  Don't get me wrong, I have moments of worship, but its nights like tonight that I begin to question why I am really doing this.  Why do I put so much heart and effort in if no one else does.  I'm so frustrated because I know how things can be and (in my opinion) should be and what it will take to get there, and no one else seems to want to make it happen.

Or maybe its just the Lu.pron talking....they don't call it Loopy Lu.pron for nothing  *sigh*

1 comment:

  1. Aww sweetie....honest opinion? If it's not giving you joy right now, drop it. This next month needs to be about YOU, and you need to be in the best shape possible. Besides, with a break, you can come back to it if you want - fresh, and ready to attack.

    Oddly, I'm not emotional on the Lu.pron. Migranes coming and going, and my ovaries are PISSED, but I've settled into it. I just hate the needles, having to be at work when I do them, and the fact that I can barely get close to hubby because I feel so gross.

    HUGS. Almost half-way thru the first step.


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