Bryan is Here!!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The next step

Long story short, AF showed on Sunday before I got to my beta Monday so I didn't go. 
Today I got a VERY unexpected phone call, from Dr. RE himself!  He wants us to come in to discuss our options.  I have a feeling he wants to move to IVF.  I not afraid of IVF, in fact I would welcome it, but I'm still unsure of some of the stuff that goes with it.  A and I talked about it a little over lunch, but I'm sure there's more discussions to come.  We know that our "plan" is for 2 kids.  We don't have plans to try for more.  If God give us more so be it, but we won't actively try.  This means we would only transfer 2 embryos for an IVF cycle.  Now we don't have any reservations about freezing, but I do have reservations about destroying extra embryos that could help another infertile achieve her dream of motherhood.  And here's where this discussion gets a little sticky.  A is concerned about our biological child finding out 15 years down the road and wanting to find his/her biological parents and what that would mean for us.  Its a valid concern and a discussion to be continued, and highlights my one concern about doing IFV, what happens to the extra embryos after we have our 2 children.

I know I'm probably totally jumping the gun here, but the planner in me wants to have all this figured out before we start a cycle.  The realist in me knows I will change my mind and second guess any decision we do make.  So I think we just need to take it one day at a time.  The emotions I'm going through in the last 48 hours have been so intense, I need to focus on getting me in a better place before we do anything else.  I was such a wreck on Sunday, and now suddenly I'm hopeful again.  There doesn't seem to be any in between, just ups and downs right now.  I've got to find happy medium before I go totally crazy.

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