Show and Tell

I have found a great new blog, Stirrup-Queens, and one of the things Mel does each week is show and Tell. This week I've decided to join in. Head on over to Mel's Blog to see the rest of this week's class. Here is mine


There is a lot that goes with this picture, most good, a little bad, but primarily it is a reminder to me of happier (although naive) times. This picture was taken on the cruise that A and I went on in January 2008, just at the beginning of our TTC journey. I had gone off the pill in September, and we were in the "not preventing" stage until the cruise to give my body the recommended 3-4 months to adjust after being on the pill for as long as I had been. His co-workers nicknamed it the "motion of the ocean" cruise. I had grand expectations of actually concieving on this trip (I was in fact probably going to ovulate our last day out). I had no concept of how difficult this journey would be. It was all new and exciting. I didn't know what BBT or OPK or BFP even meant at this point, I just knew that A was finally ready to really kick things into high gear! I have this picture sitting on my desk at work and hanging on the wall at home to help me remember on my worst days as we have gone through all of this that I was excited at one point, and I should remain that way. That no matter what happens or how long it takes, I have to remain excited about the process and keep baby-making fun!

The second thing this picture does for me is reminds me I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I made the dress I am wearing in this picture, and it was a HUGE challenge for me. I am a pretty decent seamstress, so the dress in general wasn't that hard, it was a fairly simple pattern, my problem is I am a different size on top than I am on bottom. So in order to make a failry fitted dress look good, I had to customize the pattern for me. I didn't realize the undertaking this would be when I started the dress a week before we left, but I perservered and got it done in time to take it with!

Finally (and the one negative this picture has), I am at the heaviest I have ever been in this picture. Most people would look at this and say it's not bad, I 'don't look heavy, but what you have to understand is that 10 years ago I weighed more than 100 lbs less than I do in this picture. Just 4 years earlier I had been almost 50 lbs lighter. I was skinny (perhaps too much so) my entire life. When I went to college and let my weight get ahead of me, and then got married and let it get worse, I honestly believe that may be part of what caused my downward spiral into infertility. Insulin Resistance can lay dormant for years and be triggered into action by poor diet and weight gain. This picture helps me to never forget where I was and why I don't wasy to be back there. This picture is a constant reminder that I am in control of my weight and only I can do anything about it. Now, almost all the way back down to the weight I was when we got married, and 30 lbs of that in the last 6 months, I feel confident that I am in control of everything I can be in control of. The rest I leave up to God.

That's my Show and Tell for today. Don't for get to go check out the others in today's class.