Bryan is Here!!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

4dp5dt: Dreams

Its been and interesting day.  Started out about 5:30 am with me waking up crying.  I don't remember a lot about the dream, but I do remember just being furious with someone who I felt was totally getting things that she didn't deserve that I did.  Yea I know totally unreasonable, but its a dream remember.  Anyway, it ended with this person being pregnant, and I was not only not not pregnant, but somehow knew that I never would be pregnant.  I don't have any idea who this woman was, but I was beyond angry about all of it.  And beyond devastated that she had all these things that I didn't, couldn't and wouldn't.

The morning continued with the dog going nuts at 6:30 am and waking up the whole house (there's 3 beagles in out house, only one is ours the other 2 are fosters).  It turns out that for the first time in 3 years there were bunnies in our yard and she saw them through the open bedroom window.  So much for sleeping in, once the fosters are awake and start barking I can't get back to sleep.

I went to the market and picked up 4 dozen ears of corn with the intention of coming home and cleaning them and getting them ready to put up for the winter, but by the time I got home I was worn out already so I dozed for a bit.  A got up around 11 (finally) and I laid on the couch until about 2 before I finally go motivated to work on the corn.  I got it done about 4:30, and A and I met my sister for dinner.  I didn't really do all that much today, but I'm pooped out.

The truth is I haven't been able to get that dream out of the back of my mind all day.  And I haven't told A about it yet.  I know he's going to be annoyed that I didn't, but I just didn't need to hear his rationalizations about it was just a dream and it didn't mean anything, I know all that.  It doesn't mean that I'm not going to wonder what the hell brought it on.  I had a similar experience the night before the transfer.  Again I don't remember the dream, but I woke up sobbing.  I mean really who cries in their sleep???  Its just weird.  And I don't need to give him one more thing to worry about me.  He's got enough going on trying to keep me from over doing it.  I'm not trying to be bad, I'm just trying to do the things I normally do.  The truth is its hard to remember to take it easy because I don't feel pregnant. I don't really feel anything weird.  I had some funny pains in my guy earlier today, but that could have been my intestines actually working again. (YEA!) 

OK I just realized it's way after 10, and its no wonder I'm tired.  It's past my bedtime.  Here's hoping for a later morning and a better day tomorrow.


  1. Not only have I cried in my sleep, I have screamed, and had orgasms. I have insanely vivid dreams...without drugs! And I don't feel pregnant either...I hate this part. I want it to be over...but don't feel weird...we are in the same boat. HUGS

  2. I have extrememly vivid dreams as well... Dreams that will actually ruin my day before it even begins, or make my day the best day ever.

    Your dream was a mental representation of your anxiety. I hope everything is going well for you!!


Comments are moderated. Please be respectful. You have the right to disagree with me, you do not have the right to disrespect me.