8dp5dt:: Called out

A called me out this afternoon.  I'm not feeling as normal as I keep saying I feel.  I'm having a lot of little things that HE thinks are all pregnancy signs, and I think are probably PMS symptoms.
Here's the list.

• Sore boobies (from the prometrium no doubt)
• mild cramping but in weird places...either lower or higher than normal either way up in my belly or way down near my bikini line.
• crazy thirst (I've drank more water in the last 2 days than I have in the last week
• peeing a lot (probably from all the extra water)
• Today some mild nausea set in before lunch (but I was starving! so its no big surprise, the 2 go hand in hand for me often)
• Heartburn like CRAZY (but we eat a lot of heartburn inducing foods)

I just don't know.   Part of me wants to be excited and optimistic, but part of me is cautious and guarded.

I had a crazy realization today.  I'm almost scared to BE pregnant.  Infertility and that big open blank white space are so familiar.  Tracking cycles, injecting myself, dates with Mr. Wandy, disappointing phone calls are what I'm used to.  Being pregnant is new and unknown and a little a lot scary.  I usually don't balk at change...but this is different.  I've wanted this for so long, and its such a real possibility right now, but I can't imagine this ever coming to an end.  Its weird feeling this way.  The next 48 hours hold a lot.  I CAN make it!

BTW, I called the vet, and he's not super worried about the seizures.  Its been a month since her last episode, and that's spaced far enough apart that medicating will be harder on her body than the seizures are.  Since she's just a foster and not ours, hes hesitant to medicate unless they get more frequent or more severe.  So for now we just watch her.  She's 24 hours seizure free and I am so relieved.