Birth Story Part 2 - The Induction

So Seriously, I started this post almost 3 months ago!  I really need to get into a better blogging habit. If you need a refresher, here's Part 1.

OK so where we left off, A and I were headed to the hospital for our scheduled induction.  Something I would like to note, on the way there, A and I were discussion our predictions for what was going to happen.  A predicted that I would respond really well to the pitocin, and we'd have a baby by noon.  I figured that knowing my luck, we'd be lucky if we had a baby by 4, and that I guessed we wouldn't be done before dinner.

We arrived at the hospital 8pm and went through all the initial questions.  (A little sidebar, asking me if I feel safe at home while my husband is sitting right next to me seems a little counter productive doesn't it?  No I'm terrified of my husband and I'm going to tell you all about it while he's in the room monitoring my every word...Riiiiight)  About 8:30 our pastor arrived to spend a little time with us and pray with us before we got the pitocin going.  I have to tell you how touched I was by this.  The pastor and our church family have been just AMAZING through all of this.  He called me on Wednesday wondering if we would like him to come by and what time.  He wanted to be sure he was there before they started the meds so we could pray over the entire process.  It was nearly 10pm before he left.  I felt a little bad that he stayed so long, but I was really glad he did.  I have to confess I was more nervous about the whole process than I wanted to admit at the time.  Finally about 10:30 pm, the nurses got my Pitocin started, and our doula (we'll call her Mandy) arrived around 11pm.  Now it just so happened that Mandy also happened to be a overnight L&D nurse at the hospital where we delivered, and happened to be the instructor for our childbirth class (which is how we met her)  We got lucky that she was already scheduled to work Thursday night, so she was there with us for the entire induction, labor, and delivery.

Anyway, A slept pretty well most of the night on the oh-so-comfortable daddy chair (do you sense my sarcasm?  The poor guy, the chair laid out into a bed, but was about 6 inches too short for his 6'2" frame.  Now I on the other hand did not sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time.  I had to wear a blood pressure cuff that was going off every 15-30 minutes, plus Mandy was coming in every so often to up my pitocin a bit.  So I rested, but I won't say I slept.  Finally about 6:30 am, I gave up trying to sleep and got up to go to the bathroom.  Mandy was in the room when I got up, but had to go get things ready for shift change so she told me she'd be back shortly to hook me back up to the monitors.  We had been to the hospital enough times that I told her to take her time, I could get the fetal monitors plugged back in, just to turn off the blood pressure cuff so it didn't go nuts.  So after I went to the bathroom, I plugged everything back in, Sat down on the bed and raised the back so I could comfortably sit up.  I had sat back on the too far, and my butt was right on where the bed folds. As the top was raising I felt a sharp jab in my belly, and lowered the bed back down to scoot down a bit when all the sudden, my water broke!  I just started giggling uncontrollably and A was so confused!  But it TICKLED!  I called to the desk to let the Nurses know, and they must have been in shift change rounds, because it took another 15 minutes or so for them to come in and help me change. Luckily I had been sitting right on the big absorbent pad when it broke, so there wasn't much of a mess, but every time I moved I could feel more fluid so I just sat and waited (giggling the whole time).  The nurses thought I was crazy!  They said they have NEVER had someone say it tickled.  What can I say I'm an odd duck.  So they got everything cleaned up, changed the bed, and checked me and at 7am, I was 3cm dilated.  So far labor had been pretty easy, and I was feeling good about getting through this.  I mean after all my water had broken on its own!  How many inductions does that happen in?  Mandy told us that she had only seen it a handful of times, and as an overnight nurse, she's seen a lot of inductions!  (Our hospital starts inductions between 8pm and 12am preferably) My BP had been pretty stable all night, not great, but not scary high even during contractions, and my body was reacting really well to the Pitocin so we were feeling pretty good.

Next: Part 3 - Labor and Delivery

Save the Frosties Update

I am just blown away by the generosity of the virtual world.  We are well over half way to our goal of raising $500 to help Genevieve save her frozen embryos!  If you look to the right there is now a thermometer helping track our progress.  If you want o the whole back story please go check out this post.

If you've been waiting to look at stuff in the Etsy store, don't wait much longer!  Tomorrow (Tuesday), I will be posting about 20 NEW ITEMS in the store.  I'm also extending my Save the Frosties Sale, so for every item sold between now and Labor Day (September 5th) $10 will go to the Save the Frosties fund. 

Please consider donating to the fund.  On top of everything else, Genevieve and her husband were impacted, like so many others, by Hurricane Irene.  Thankfully they didn't have any major damage, mostly just a lot of rain and wind, but it was another hurdle to climb over.

Can you help?  Even $5 will get Genevieve's little Peanut closer to a brother or sister.  Click the PayPal button to donate!

Save the Frosties!!!

We're going to take a break from...OK from my break....for a very special message.  Someday soon I'll be back with the second half of Bryan's birth story and an update on my 4 month old! (Holy cow is he really that old already!)  For now, I'd like to put a plea out there about something that is very dear to my heart.

If you have followed my blog, you know that I had a IVF cycle buddy, Genevieve.  Gen and her husband went through their IVF less than a week after A and I did, and their little boy Phelan was born about 3 weeks before Bryan, after giving his mommy pure hell for 35 weeks.  She was such a trooper, but had every bad pregnancy symptom in the book, except preeclampsia which I took care of.  Amazingly Phelan didn't have to spend a single minute in the NICU, even at 5 weeks early.

Unfortunately for Gen, the issues didn't stop there.  Because she was on bed rest for the majority of her 3rd trimester, she had used up nearly all her leave and only got 6 weeks of maternity leave.  That on top of a preemie baby made it difficult for her to establish a good milk supply, and although she hasn't given up (you go girl!) she has had to supplement with formula from the beginning.  Then you throw in bum renters who don't pay their rent and trash your house (not to mention your good name when you throw them out), and DH losing his job (that he can't get unemployment benefits from because he was an independent contractor) it's been a rough couple of months for them.

Now Genvieve and her husband were lucky enough to have some extra embryos from their IVF that they were able to freeze.  When DH lost his job, they did some research into their baby daddy (they used donor sperm) and discovered that there is no baby daddy juice left.  They got the last of it for their IVF.  What this boils down to is that in order for Phelan to have a full blood sibling, they have to use the embryos they have frozen.  This means paying storage fees now that a year of free storage has passed.  This is NOT CHEAP, and with only one income really hard to do. 

I am a firm believer that no one should be forced to make a massive decision like what to do with remaining embryos because of money.  Most of us who are lucky enough to be part of the ALI community already have, to some extent, had do base whether or not to have kids in the first place on money.  Letting it tell you when you can and can't keep your embryos just isn't fair. 

Genevieve and her DH want 2 kids.  They want a brother or sister for Phelan that will have the same DNA.  But they know they're not ready for that second baby now, even if they could afford the frozen cycle.  The only way to make their dream come true is to keep those embryos on ice for a while longer, and that's going to cost $500.

I'll tell you.  If I had a spare $500 lying around, I'd sent it to Genevieve in a heartbeat.  If anyone deserves a second chance at pregnancy and being a mom its her.  Unfortunately I don't have that kind of extra cash right now.  But I do have $50.  And I'd bet that you have $5 or $10.  And I have an etsy store.  And for everything in my store that sells before September 1st, I'll add another $10 to the "Save the Frosties" fund.

Can you help?  Even $5 will get Genevieve's little Peanut closer to a brother or sister.  Click the PayPal button to donate!

Update 1

Birth Story Part 1 - The week before

So My little man is already 8 weeks old.  It's probably about time I shared his birth story isn't it?  I'm going to put it up in parts.

First, the week leading up:
Monday: I've been on bed rest for 10 days due to Preeclampsia.  I've been monitoring my blood pressure with an at home monitor with strict instructions to call the doc immediately if it EVER goes above 150/100.  I'm home by myself, and have been having what we now know were gallbladder attacks pretty frequently.  Around 11am, another one starts, and I take the gas-x hoping it won't get too severe this time.  Within about 5 minutes the pain escalates to more severe than it's ever been, and I'm freaking out.  As a precaution I take my BP and its over the not good threshold. (I don't remember what it was now, but it was HIGH).  I call the OB's office and the nurse tells me that Dr. O is at the hospital in surgery, and with it that high I should just go there to be monitored so he can come see me.  OK.  I tell her I'm home by myself but will call my husband to come get me.  She says you need to be there within 30 minutes.  If you don't get him, call an ambulance.  She's calling Labor & Delivery to tell them I'm on my way.  I hang up with her and call A at work. No answer.  I try his cell.  No Answer.  I try our friend J, no answer.  I try her cell, no answer.  I try her husband, D. No answer.  Just as I'm about to call 911, J calls me back.  Sure she can come get me, she just has to load up her 2 toddlers.  I'm working on getting the dogs locked up D calls me back.  I explain to him whats happening, and before I can tell him J is coming, he says he's on the way and hangs up.  Since D's office is less that 5 minutes from my house, and J didn't even have the kids in the car yet, D came instead.  While I'm waiting for him, I try A's coworker's desk.  No answer.  They must be in a meeting so I try the coworkers cell.  He actually answers.  I asked him if A is with him, he says yes, I ask him to have A meet me and D at the hospital.  The co-worker looks at A and says "You, hospital, Now!" and that's it!  A meets D and me at the front door with a wheelchair and up to L&D we go.  I get all hooked up, to the monitors, baby is doing fine, but my BP goes haywire each time the pain flares up (surprise surprise).  After about 3 hours the attack subsides and my BP stabilizes.  The OB has some blood work drawn and checks my protein levels again, and says as long as my BP stays good I can go home at 7.  I have my 38 wk appointment and an Ultrasound scheduled at the office for the next day, so he'll see me then.  We have no other surprises, and I go home at 7.  My SIL, K, and her 2 kids also arrive that evening.

Tuesday: I have my US scheduled for 10 and the Doctors appointment right after that.  We go into the US and got to see great pictures.  The baby was measuring about 7 1/2 lbs at that point (give or take a pound she said) and everything looked great.  He was head down and facing back and settled into about a +1 or 0 station.  We get into the room with Dr. O and he pulls out my lab work results from Monday.  My protein levels look good, and most of the blood work looks ok, but my bile salts are on the rise.  This is the one level that has been rising over the course of the last 10 days, and now it's to the point of being too high.  I asked him and what does this mean?  It means we're having a baby by the end of the week.  At 38 weeks, the risks of what's happening with me are far higher than the risks to the baby being delivered.  So we schedule the induction for Thursday night at 8pm with the plan to start a low dose of pitocin overnight in the hopes we can jump start my body into labor and not have to crank it up too high in the morning.  Now keep in mind, my MIL is scheduled to have an angioplasty on Thursday morning.  This is why my SIL was at our house.  She came to bring her kids to D&J who were graciously going to watch them while A and K were in St. Louis for her procedure.  K was going down Tuesday evening so she was there for all the pre-op stuff on Wednesday and A was going to go down Thursday morning for the procedure and come back Friday.  Not so much anymore.  But at least this way we would have the news from her procedure before we went to the hospital.

Wednesday - Thursday 8pm.: We have a mad dash finishing all the things that have to get done to head to the hospital.  Packing bags, installing the car seat, making arrangements for the dogs.  We did go to bible study on Wednesday, and my BP is the lowest it's been in ages while we're there.  A goes to work both days to prepare for being home for 2 weeks with us.  I spend most of the day finishing reading a book on Hypno-birthing, hoping to still have a natural childbirth, even through the pitocin.  A gets home Thursday at 5, we pack up the car, take the dogs to the kennel, hit McDonalds (I know such a healthy last meal before giving birth, but we ran out of time), and head to the hospital.

Up Next: Birth Story Part 2 - The induction

6 Weeks? Really???

Oh Wow has it really been over a month since I posted last?  Holy cow how the time has flown.  My little man is now 6 1/2 weeks old and just absolutely amazing.  Things have been going really well around here, especially since all the family cleared out and we got on our own routine.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family, and was so glad they all came to visit, but A and I realized that in the first 4 weeks after we came home from the hospital we had a total of 5 days just the 3 of us.  5 out of 28.  It was a little chaotic around here for a while.

So anyway, things are going really well. The Boy is sleeping and eating and pooping like a champ.  He's a pretty content baby most of the time.  We're finally starting to get a schedule going, including a solid afternoon nap time and being awake when daddy comes home for lunch and in the evening.  Now we just have to work on a realistic morning routine, but that would require me getting up at 5am, and I really don't want to do that yet.

While the Boy is doing great, Momma is having some issues.  Let me back up to about 2 weeks before he was born, right after I went on bed rest.  I started having these really weird pains in my upper abdomen.  They would build slowly and then *BANG* it was like someone had tightened a belt around my ribcage and wasn't letting it go.  I would have trouble taking a breath, it hurt so bad to breathe deep.  It would last anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours at the worst and then SUDDENLY disappear.  Both A and my SIL (who has 2 kids) were convinced it was gas brought on by a sensitivity to dairy since it only seemed to pop up after I had a glass of milk or some ice cream.  It was so BAD the Monday before I delivered that it caused my BP to skyrocket and an emergency trip to Labor and Delivery.  Anyway, I delivered, and the pains didn't change!  I was still getting this crazy painful pressure under my ribcage on the right side, although it still appeared to be brought on by dairy.  Finally after 3 weeks of this not going away (silly me was thinking ti was just because all my insides hadn't gotten back to normal and it could still be gas) I finally called the OB and said we had to do something.  He scheduled me a sonogram, and sure enough, I have 5 small to medium sized stones in my gallbladder!  They called that day and scheduled me an appointment with a general surgeon to consult about having it out.  That surgery is scheduled for this Thursday.

The good news is that this extends my Maternity leave by 2 weeks, the bad news is I will be spending it recovering, and if I didn't have a 6 week old at home I would probably recover much faster.  The will be doing it outpatient and laproscopic, so assuming no complications I should be home Thursday afternoon.  If it's anything like my LAP, I will be OK by Sunday, so fingers crossed.

Ok I've got to go wake up the boy so we can pick up Daddy from work.  I'll leave you with a couple pictures of course :-)

Easter Sunday

BATMAN!

Milk Coma

1st Bath

Pirate Baby! (for his cousin's 3rd Birthday Party)

Super Baby!

Tummy Time (just taken Yesterday)

The first 10 days

Holy cow.  I can't believe it's been 10 days already.  It seems like it was just yesterday that I was getting ready to head into the hospital to be induced.  It's been a really crazy time, but I have to admit I am LOVING it.  I love being a mom.  Even the hard parts, the stinky diapers, the engorgement, the lack of sleep, all of it is so worth seeing that little face every day.  Here's a quick recap of the last 10 days.

• We came home on Sunday afternoon after a trip to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions.  We all pretty much slept the afternoon and evening away, and the first night was actually really easy.  Bryan slept from 12-2 and from 3-6, and then Adam got up with him after the 6 am feeding and let me got back to bed 7-10!
• Monday night was horrible.  I think my milk was coming in, and it came in on one side sooner than the other.  This threw the little man all out of whack.  After snacking for 10-20 minute sessions every 90 minutes all day, he wanted nothing to do with the side that had no milk after about midnight, and would not settle down to sleep unless he was being held.  Finally around 3am he zonked out enough for us to get back in the bed, and was up again at 5:30 and wouldn't settle down.  When I went back in the nursery it was so cold, so I brought him into our room to warm up and eat, and before I knew it, it was 10:30!!!  Apparently he was just cold!
• We saw the pediatrician on Tuesday  Bryan was down another 6 oz to 6lb 5oz, and right on the border for too much weight loss plus his bilirubin was up a little bit from where it was in the hospital.  Since my milk had just come in, the doc wasn't worried though.  As long as he gains weight and is peeing and pooping appropriately, we're good till the next appointment this Thursday.  Doc thinks his system just needs flushing (which btw it looks like he was right, Bryan looks much better now)
• Tuesday night went SO well A slept through the night I had no idea I even got up with the baby!  I had been up at 2 and 6, and had to wake Bryan up to eat both times!  We figured out that long sleeved sleepers and tight swaddles are what he needs to PASS OUT.
• Thursday afternoon we took my Niece and Nephew (who had been staying with a friend while my SIL was with my MIL in the hospital...who had been there since the day Bryan was born) to give our friend a break.  They hung out with us from lunch through dinner.  It made for a crazy day, but the friend really needed a break and we were happy to help.
• Friday my SIL made it back here, but unfortunately without my MIL.  She developed a case of bronchitis, probably while in the hospital, and was not going to come around the baby until it got under control.
• Saturday we had a visit from A's dad and Step-mom.  That was a tough day for me I'm not gonna lie.  A's step mom (Nana) is a bit of a baby hog, and I wasn't assertive enough to say when I needed my son back.  She was snuggling him nearly the whole time they were here, and he was perfectly content to sleep in her arms, but as has been his MO, he didn't wake up and fuss when he needed to eat.  Because he wasn't eating as often as he had been he wasn't dirtying diapers, so I had no good excuse to ask her to give him up.  All on top of the fact that this is a weird relationship anyway, and I was really trying to not do anything to rock the boat. This all lead to a major emotional breakdown and me spending nearly an hour rocking in the nursery crying because I felt so out of control of the whole situation.  It was BAD.  Lesson learned, I have to be more assertive about my son's needs, because he is so easygoing he's not going to do it for me.
• Sunday we took our first trip to church and it was amazing.  A sings in the praise band, and one of the songs they lead was a song that was on the recordings we played on my belly before Bryan was born.  A sings lead on it.  he was awake but drowsy during the whole first part of the service, but as soon as A started singing his eyes popped WIDE open and he was very alert.  It was SO COOL!
• After church my dad came to visit.  That was SO much more laid back than with A's dad, and for that I was thankful.  Especially since on top of everything the day before, engorgement had set in in my right breast and it HURT.  I actually ended up coming home from church, feeding the boy, and then pumping it dry to try and relieve it.  I got a full 3 ounces AFTER the kid ate for 25 minutes.  I have no idea if this is a lot or not, but it sure seems like a lot to have left since if I was bottle feeding, he'd be getting about 3oz per feeding.  Ever since then I've been able to keep it under control thankfully.  I certainly do not what to go through that pain again.
• Yesterday and today have just been chilling out at home with the toddlers and recuperating from the weekend full of visitors.
• I've done pretty good with the postpartum emotional roller coaster I think.  I have a couple of completely irrational breakdowns...like the one when Bryan filled 3 diapers in a row and I was about ready to scream at him, or when I chewed A out because he had spent the day on projects other than what I felt needed to be done first (like cleaning up the yard or mowing or cleaning up the kitchen).  What we have learned is the overtired mommy = emotional mommy and a good nap usually takes care of those emotional issues.
• I am also dealing with those feelings of being some what of an impostor still.  Every day a stare in amazement at my son and can't believe that we get to keep him.  Part of it still doesn't seem real.  This was my one semi-reasonable breakdown.  I was loving on him one morning while he was laying on our bed and I was supposed to be getting dressed.  All of the sudden I was just overcome with how absolutely perfect and wonderful he is and what an absolute miracle he is and I just lost it.  A came in and saw me all huddled over him crying and about lost his mind.  I can't help but wonder if he thought something was wrong with the baby instead of me.  At least he understood why I was crying THAT time :-)

Ok that's all for now.  I'm hearing an urgent code MOO coming from the hubby's lap, and then we have to get ready to go to bible study.  Hope you're having a great week!

Holy crap...I'm a mom

Good evening blog friends! As I type this note, I am sitting on the couch with my son sleeping on my chest. Yea my SON! It's so weird to actually be saying that. We are all doing pretty good. So my bloggy friends, say hello to Bryan McConnell

*gulp*

Well readers, we have a definite baby day.  I will be going in tomorrow evening at 8pm to be induced.  My BP has been ok, but now my liver enzymes and Bile Salts are elevated, and my OB feels that the risks of my staying pregnant are higher than the benefits.  I'm progressing slowly in dialation, up to 1.5-2cm and more effaced than last week (although he didn't give me a number), and the boy has dropped even more so probably a 0 station.  We're hoping to be able to start on the lowest dose of pitocin and keep it there for 6-8 hours and then see where we're at.  If we can jumpstart labor and then let it go on its own, we will.  I'm not counting on it, but keeping my fingers crossed that its at least a possibility.

Either way, its happening, and its happening this week!  TOMORROW!  We should have our little man here by Friday night.  I am surprisingly not really all that nervous or scared, just ready for it to be here.  We'll have the laptop and camera at the hospital with us, so hopefully I'll be able to update by Saturday.

Next time you hear from me, my baby boy will be here!!!

37 Weeks and an update

How far along: 37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 03/28/11) +22.4, 227.4  I lost a pound!!!!

Maternity clothes: All maternity all the time.  I'm actually to the point where if I don't have a pretty supportive waistband, I have to add a belly band back or I'm uncomfortable by mid-afternoon.

Stretch marks: Meh.  Most of the area under my belly button is all stripy now, but they're no TOO horrible.  

Sleep: Getting worse but varying from night to night.  Seems to alternate, one good night one awful night.

Movement: Lots and lots and lots! It's too much fun to watch the alien moving around. 
Cravings: Been all about BBQ chicken this week.

Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!  Just look at my weight gain can't you tell?
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica.  Nose bleeds are under control.  Preeclampsia in full force BOO!
What I miss: Being able to do ANYTHING for my self.  Bed rest really stinks.

What I look forward to: Ultra sound next week.  Seeing my little man FOR REAL!

Moods: Honestly, I've been scared a lot this week.  I hate not feeling in control.  I've been doing everything in my power to keep my BP down, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. 
Milestones: We made it to April 1st!  37 weeks and the point of no delaying labor YEA!

Medical Concerns: Just the preeclampsia, isn't that enough.
Weekly Wisdom: If bed rest is in your future, you have to just let go.  I've really struggled with letting people do things for me this week, and I've been paying for it.  The times I don't let people help, my bp goes up. Its tough, accepting help from other people, especially when I feel so helpless, but it's gotta be done.
Worst moment this week: Confirmed bed rest, and until this baby comes.
Best moment this week:  Not that I needed to be reminded, but A has been just absolutely AMAZING this week.  I may complain that he's being way to strict and overprotective, and call him my warden, but I know its just because he's concerned about me and the little man.  This bed rest is probably harder on him than it is on me, and he has just been awesome.  Now to top it off, he's not feeling good tonight, and I can't take care of him.

So the update since Monday night.  I had my 37 week appointment on Tuesday, and we spent over 2 hours there.  First we had all the usual stuff, then we went over our "birth preferences" with my OB.  As I had anticipated, it was mostly unnecessary, he is totally on board with all our preferences (as i knew he would be).  He is a firm believer that doing everything you can to make it so labor happens naturally.  Even if it means putting me on hospital bed rest before medicating me.  SO for now I get to bide my time at home, monitoring my blood pressure with an at home reader and chilling out on the couch.  

I had a non-stress test this morning, and everything looked good, and I got permission for short expeditions outside the house as long as my BP is less than 135/85 before we leave, I'm not up and about for more than 60-90 minutes, and I'm not going to be doing a lot of walking around.  So I can go to the store with A or to church on Sunday, as long as I take it easy.  YEA!  That's about all I know for now.  I'm going to go pour some Nyquil down A's throat and crawl into bed.  Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.

Yep its pre-eclampsia

I think the title says it all. I had my follow up with the OB nurse this morning. My BP was up again, and didn't really come down after resting for 30 minutes. Since dr. O was at the hospital performing surgeries, he had them send me over for 4 hour monitoring. We were ther for about 45 minutes when he got a break and came by to see me, and my Bp hadn't really come down much at all yet. At that point he said he wanted to continue monitoring until about 3, but it was in his mind preeclampsia and I would be on bed rest for the duration. He said his primary goal was to keep me pregnant for as long as possible, and keep my BP down so we could avoid an induction. Have I mentioned how much I love my OB?!?!? I told him that if bed rest was what it took to keep me from having to be induced, I would not leave my bed for 2 weeks!

He really would like me to get to 39 weeks, which is just 2 and a half weeks away! Luckily we're pretty good to go. A installed the carseat yesterday, the labor bag is just about packed, and I'm feeling pretty good about every thing. Everything else will fall into place. So now we will go in for non-stress tests about twice a week and just wait for the little man to decide he's ready. 2-3 weeks of bed rest is no big deal when I look at the grand scheme of things, and it will give me an opportunity to write thank you notes, do some reading and cross-stitching, and maybe even get my birth announcements made up....if I can just get someone to go get me the supplies. Luckily I kinda know what I want.

Maybe I can convince the warden to let me go on a supply excursion with my sister on Friday...maybe.

pre-preeclampsia?

Well it looks like I've definitely got some underlying issues going on here.  We got the results back from the urine catch and my protein levels are "elevated".  The nurse didn't have the actual numbers in front of her, so I will get them when I go in on Monday morning.  I have to go in Monday for a BP recheck and another urine test.

All in all I'm feeling ok.  I've had a headache off and on all day but it seems to be more a side effect of what I do or don't eat instead of what I do or don't do.  I've been a good girl and sat on the couch all day.  The only real weirdness I've had is that I've been so HOT all day.  But it could have more to do with the heat in our house than me.  The thermometer on the lower level says it's still 76 degrees down here.  UGH.  I've been laying around in a cami and yoga pants all day.

We did get a couple final things done in the nursery, or I should say A did while I sat in the glider.  The shelves are up, the final wall decorations are up, and a bunch more clothes got sorted.  A also stripped and washed 2 loads of prefolds for me today.  I think we finally got the used prefolds that I got on the CHEAP clean.  The previous owner must not have known what she was doing to wash them there was a TON of soap suds in the basin when we rinsed them.  UGH.  It took a whole tone of rinses plus stripping to get them to stop sudsing, but I think we finally got there.  We've got one more load of inserts, and then to strip and wash the 15 BumGenius pockets that are coming in the mail next week (also used but SUPER CHEAP) and I think we'll have all the diapers ready to go.  I've got quite the starter stash built up, and I am excited.

If nothing else, bedrest will help me blog more often.  I mean come on this is, what, 4 posts in 5 days?  Crazy unheard of I know right!

So much for winning the blood pressure battle

Yep you read that right, I'm not winning the blood pressure battle anymore.  In fact as I write this I am in the middle of my 24 hour urine catch and relegated to strict bed rest (as in couch or bed with my feet up and only allowed to get up to pee or get food/water).  Here's what happened.

Yesterday I was feeling a little off at work.  The best way I could describe it was to tell A that I felt like I had taken a vicodin.  Just generally blah.  Very sleepy, and I was having a hard time focusing, and I one point I went to grab my water bottle and my arm felt like it weighed 20 pounds.  We went and got lunch, thinking maybe my blood sugar was low, and after eating I still wasn't feeling great, so I went to have the office nurse take my blood pressure.  Sure enough it was up, 156/94ish.  I called the doctors office, even though I knew my doc was on vacation, and the nurse asked me to lay down and relax while she got in touch with the on call doc.  So I laid down in the nurse's office for an hour and waited for her to call back.  Just before she called, the nurse came to check on me, and my BP was back down to 126/66.  I thought I was going to be good.  The nurse called back told me they wanted me to go home and take it easy and do a 24 hour urine catch (oh yea fun), and to have the nurse take my BP one more time when I stood up.  If it spiked again, I was to be on strict bed rest until results came back Monday, and if it didn't then modified bed rest.  Sure enough, just my luck, it spiked to 146/86 just from standing up and walking out to the main part of the office.  So into the wheelchair I went to be escorted tot he door by the nurse.  A took me to the hospital for my blood draw and to get the stuff I needed for the urine catch and then brought me home and on the couch I plopped for the rest of the afternoon.

I'm feeling a little better today, definitely not as medicine-heady as yesterday, but still a little off.  The little man seems to be just fine.  He's moving around about like usual.  I'm on watch for reduced fetal movement, crazy vision issues, pain, or excessive swelling.  Any of those symptoms will earn me an immediate trip to L&D which of course we don't want yet.

Truth is this is really hard for me.  I hate the though that I am just sitting here while there is still so much I should be doing.  I still have sewing to do, there's laundry to be done, cleaning that needs to happen.  Plus I'm not packed for the hospital, arrangements still need to be made for the dogs, and I don't even want to think about all the stuff at work that isn't ready yet.  I know all this fretting isn't helping the situation any, but I can't help it.  Its my nature to be a worrier, and I HATE not being in control.  I just have to remember to let it go and let A take care of things.  Deep breaths...

36 Weeks

How far along: 36 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 03/14/11) +23.6, 228.6  Really, all in all not too bad.  I wanted to stay under +25, and I'm not sure I'll make that, but I'm gonna be close

Maternity clothes: All maternity all the time.  I'm actually to the point where if I don't have a pretty supportive waistband, I have to add a belly band back or I'm uncomfortable by mid-afternoon.

Stretch marks: Meh.  Most of the area under my belly button is all stripy now, but they're no TOO horrible.  

Sleep: Getting worse but varying from night to night.  Last night was horrible, up every 2 hours or so.  Over the weekend, I slept 8 FULL hours both Friday and Saturday night.

Movement: Lots and lots and lots! It's too much fun to watch the alien moving around. 
Cravings: Still just Mexican.

Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!  Just look at my weight gain can't you tell?
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force.  Nose bleeds are under control.  On Blood Pressure Watch.
What I miss: Being able to do simple things like tie my own shoes or pick up something I drop.

What I look forward to: Ultra sound next week.  Seeing my little man FOR REAL!

Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute but been a lot better lately I think.
Milestones: Less than a month to go!  OH and the stroller and car seat were delivered yesterday!

Medical Concerns: Nothing really, just typical stuff for this point.  Gotta keep the blood pressure down!
Weekly Wisdom: People really don't intend to be mean when they say "Oh you've gotten so BIG" but it still stings.  Just be prepared for at least 3 people to say it every day.
Worst moment this week: Really it's been a pretty good week.  I'm trying really hard to not let stuff get to me; in part because it's not good for my blood pressure, and in part because I gave up sweating the small stuff for Lent :-)  I'm sure you can guess how that's going.
Best moment this week:  OMG do I have to pick just one?  Finding out Genevive had her baby and DIDN'T have to stay extra at the hospital.  And our trip up north to get a couple last things.  We got a swing that is compatible with our car seat so that if little man is sleeping when we get home, we don't have to take him out!!! We can just plop the car seat right into the swing and go about our business!!!  SWEET!!  Plus we did our Maternity photo shoot this weekend..that was a BLAST!

 

Here's a preview of the Maternity shoot:

 

I'm alive

Holy CRAP! how in the heck did nearly 6 weeks go by and I haven't posted?!?!?!? BAD BLOGGER!  I promise I'm still here, I'm still pregnant, and the little man is doing great.  We've had a couple  hiccups along the way these last couple weeks, but nothing major.  Here's a run down of the last 2 weeks.

• I had a minor UTI that actually resulted in a trip to L&D before I knew I had it.  Some antibiotics and a week later I was totally good to go.
• Right now we're fighting the blood pressure battle, and winning mostly.  Must.stay.calm.
• The nursery is almost ready to go, we've got to make a trip to IK.EA this week to get a couple last things, and I've GOT to do some sewing.  Still need a curtain and new cushion and cover for the glider.
• I had my baby shower the first week of March, and I am just floored at how much this little man is loved, even BEFORE anyone gets to meet him.
• Heartburn SUCKS! oh and did you know excess calcium carbonate can cause major constipation?  Yea now you do, and so do I.
• We've been taking our childbirth classes for the last 4 Tuesday nights, tomorrow is the last one, and I am actually loving it!  And our instructor is a doppelganger for Heather Graham!
• We got a new memory foam mattress topper and a new, higher bed frame, and I actually got 8 FULL HOURS of sleep both days this weekend.  I couldn't believe it!  I felt so much more refreshed yesterday than I have in a LONG time.

If you haven't heard, Genevive had her little Cricket last night at 35 weeks and had NO NICU time!!!  I"ll let you head over to her blog to find out if Cricket is a boy or a girl :-)

Ok that's my quick and dirty.  We're getting down to the wire.  Just a month to go (assuming my little man doesn't pull a cricket).  I've still got a ton to do it seems like, but I am SO EXCITED!!!!

30 weeks

How far along: 30 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 01/04/11) +18.6, 223.6  I knew this was going to be dad.  I put on 8 lbs in the last 5 weeks!  EEK!  I have GOT to get back in the pool.
Maternity clothes: All maternity.  My tights came in and OMG they are SO comfortable!
Stretch marks: Actually staying pretty under control. Gotta love Palmer's cocoa butter.
Sleep: Hit or miss.  Most nights it's ok, but I'm up at least once except on RARE occasion.  Sometimes its because I have to pee, sometimes its because of the sciatica, and if I slip off of the pillow so my head isn't elevated, its because of heartburn.
Movement: Lots and lots and lots! He must be starting to get cramped in there though, it's starting to be uncomfortable at times.  It's too funny when I'm lying in bed at night snuggled up to A's back and he'll start going...A yells at him to go to sleep!
Cravings: OK I'm admitting it.  Mexican is my craving...and not even real Mexican, cheap generic American Mexican.  I have eaten more Taco Bell in the last 3 months than I have in probably 5 years.  We go to the Mexican restaurant in town (you know the place one of those cheap Mexican sit downs where the menus are all the same but its really fast and really good) at least 3 times a month.  Lots of Mexican...even chips and salsa does the trick at home in a pinch.
Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!  Just look at my weight gain can't you tell?
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force.  No new nose bleeds this week thankfully, but now that I know what appears to be triggering them, I can hopefully keep them in check.
What I miss: Beer ...again....Do you have any idea how hard it is to watch the Superbowl without a beer in my hand???  WOW I really sound like an alcoholic, but the truth is beer and football go together in my house!
What I look forward to: Still on belly button watch.  Depending on how I'm sitting at night, it threatens to turn inside out, but nothing permanent yet.  Putting up the crib this weekend!  Its supposed to be here today!!!
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute but been a lot better lately I think.
Milestones: Single digit weeks left
Medical Concerns: Nothing really, just typical stuff for this point.  Gotta keep the blood pressure down to keep the nose bleeds away I guess.  Developed another Upper Respiratory thing.  I've been super congested since Saturday and it just stinks!
Weekly Wisdom: Everyone has advice (and most of it will be ass-vice) Just smile and nod and move on.  The more you try and tell people you don't want/need/care for their advice, the more they give it to you.
Worst moment this week: Finding out a bloggy friend who is due the same week I am is on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy.  She's had a really rough go with all of this, and it's totally not fair.  If you have a minute, please go share some bloggy love with Genevieve and remind cricket its not her time yet :-)
Best moment this week:  Having a bunch of friends over for the Superbowl which means I have a CLEAN HOUSE!  I actually feel on top of things for once.  I totally didn't do my typical freak out the morning of a party at our house, and actually stayed calm cool and collected the whole day.  It was great!

29 Weeks...Really???

I cannot believe I am at 29 weeks already!  Where has the time gone.  It is crazy to think that 11 weeks (ish) from now, there will be a little man at my house!

How far along: 29 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 01/04/11) +10.8, 215.8  I have a feeling this is going to be BAD next week (my appointment got pushed back a week because of snowmageddon!  More on that to come).
Maternity clothes: All maternity.  I finally ordered tights.  I can't WAIT until they get here!
Stretch marks: Actually staying pretty under control. Gotta love Palmer's cocoa butter.
Sleep: Meh.  I'm waking up about 3am every night.  Sometimes its because I have to pee, sometimes its because of the sciatica, and if I slip off on pillow so my head is't elevated, its because of heartburn.
Movement: Lots and lots and lots! He must be starting to get cramped in there though, it's starting to be uncomfortable at times.  It's too funny when I'm lying in bed at night snuggled up to A's back and he'll start going...A yells at him to go to sleep!
Cravings: I'm still not really craving much of anything.  Lots of Mexican...chips and salsa does the trick.
Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force.  Two minor nose bleeds this week...it now seems to be associated with a sudden rise in blood pressure.  The first one happened after A and I got in a screaming match.  This one happened after he tried to pressure me into something I was scared to do.  Hrmmm.
What I miss: Being able to sit cross legged...I never realized how much I do this until this week, and now I can't! 
What I look forward to: Maternity pictures hopefully sometime in the next couple weeks.  My belly button popping...its so close!!!
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute but been a lot better lately I think.
Milestones: Nursery painting is DONE! (pics to come)  Ordered the crib and changing table.
Medical Concerns: Nothing really, just typical stuff for this point.  Gotta keep the blood pressure down to keep the nose bleeds away I guess.
Weekly Wisdom: Don't  freak about the little things.  Save the freak-outs for the big things, otherwise when the big things come, it will be crying wolf syndrome with the hubby.
Worst moment this week: Fight with A that brought on the nosebleed. Being snowed in on Tuesday/Wednesday.  I was going Stir Crazy by Wednesday afternoon!
Best moment this week:  Finishing the nursery painting.  I can't tell you how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  When I'm feeling cranky, I just have to go sit in there for a minute and it all goes away. 

The power of chlorine & 28 Weeks

It always amazes me how a smell can totally transform your thought process, can take you back to another place, another time.  Last night, for the first time in probably close to thirteen years, I got in a lap pool and actually swam laps.  I swam in high school, and although I wasn't this amazing athlete, until I screwed up my knee summer between JR and SR year I did pretty good.  I pushed myself really hard the summer between FR and SO year and made the varsity team as a sophomore.  I loved spending 2 hours a day in the water just me and my thoughts.  It was not only great exercise, it was very therapeutic mentally.  I truly forgot how much I enjoyed that time.  I attempted to join the team in college, but my knee just wasn't up for the abuse.  I've come up with all the excuses in the book not to go back; I don't have the right gear, The gym is so far I'm gone for 90+ minutes for just a 30 min swim, the chlorine makes me itch, blah blah blah excuse excuse excuse.  While cleaning out the nursery to get it ready for paint, I found my old swim bag that had in it all my stuff...cap, goggles, training buoy, even a towel and shammy! (you know those sham wow things that are all over the infomercials?  year swimmers and divers have been using them for YEARS!) Although there is no way I'm getting into the speedo that was in that bag, I did have one that would work, and it fit even 28 weeks pregnant.  I remembered a couple weeks ago that my university offers free passes to its alumni to used the Athletic center and pool, and its just down the road.  So on Tuesday I went to the office and got my alumni pass.  I had no more excuses.  For my sake, for my baby's sake, I needed to get some REAL exercise in my routine.  So I did it. I went and swam for 40 minutes last night, and it was absolutely AMAZING!  I walked into that locker room an it was like I was 16 all over again.  The smell of chlorine in the air was unmistakable.  I slid into the pool and started out and it was like I hadn't missed a day.  The old rhythms came back so easily.  Granted I got tired and out of breath quicker than I remembered, but the longer I stuck with it, the easier the breathing rhythm became.  After 40 minutes I felt so refreshed and rejuvenated that I can't for the life of me figure out why I waited so long to get back at it!  My new routine is going to be 40ish minutes Tuesdays, Thursdays, and either Saturday or Sunday.  I figure 3 days a week from now until this little man comes and then back again as soon as I can after he gets here should help keep me in decent shape.  Here's hoping.

Now the Survey:
How far along: 28 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 01/04/11) +10.8, 215.8  I have a feeling this is going to be BAD next week.
Maternity clothes: All maternity.  I really need to find a pair of tights or leggings so I can wear all my dresses that I got!
Stretch marks: Actually staying pretty under control. 
Sleep: Meh.  I'm usually waking up at least once, but I usually can roll over and go back to sleep.  The sciatica is the worst an night, and I REALLY miss sleeping on my back.
Movement: Lots and lots and lots! I love it!
Cravings: I'm surprised that I'm not really craving much of anything.  Although I did figure out why I've been wanting T@co Be|| so much...the combination of soft and crunchy I can get.
Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force I keep a bottle of antacids in my purse, in my desk at work, in the bathroom at home and in the family room! No Nose bleeds this week!  Major Constipation! UGH!
What I miss: Sleeping on my back. 
What I look forward to: Maternity pictures hopefully sometime in the next couple weeks.  My belly button popping...its so close!!!
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute but been a lot better lately I think.
Milestones: Got the nursery half painted, hope to finish it this weekend.
Medical Concerns: Nothing really, just typical stuff for this point
Weekly Wisdom: I'm going to say it again, take time for You!  The way I felt when I got home last night is proof to me that it HAS to happen. 
Worst moment this week: Really I can't think of one.  Its been a pretty good week.
Best moment this week:  Finding 40+ prefolds and 8 covers for less than $40.  I <3 Craigslist!

27 Weeks

Survey Time!
How far along: 27 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 01/04/11) +10.8, 215.8
Maternity clothes: All maternity.  I really need to find a pair of tights or leggings so I can wear all my dresses that I got!
Stretch marks: Another new one on my belly, this time on the right. It's still small, but I can see it starting to form. The ones on my hips from puberty are ANGRY! I've started using Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion for stretch marks, and it is taking most of the redness, tightness, and itching away. Loving it!
Sleep: Getting worse.  I am waking up several times during the night, sometimes because of the little man...sometimes because of the big man.  Apparently I have started taking over the bed in my sleep.
Movement: Lots and lots and lots! I love it!
Cravings: Nothing weird...whatever I see an add for!
Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force I keep a bottle of antacids in my purse, in my desk at work, in the bathroom at home and in the family room! Nose bleeds of course, although only one very minor one this week!
What I miss: Feeling "normal". I have just had the general blahs for weeks now.  Not feeling bad, just not feeling great either.
What I look forward to: Painting in the nursery and setting up furniture :-)  Hopefully some of that this weekend.
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute
Milestones: Nothing major this week...
Medical Concerns: Nose bleeds are still the big one.  I'm SO ready to be done with that.  General upper respiratory issues.
Weekly Wisdom: Take time for You!  Being super woman all the time does nothing but run you down. 
Worst moment this week: Filling on Tuesday.  The whole left side of my face was numb for almost 4 hours!  UGH
Best moment this week:  Sitting and having little man listen to daddy sing.  We got a bunch of recordings from the church A sings with and he put the songs he sings lead on a playlist on the iPad so I can put headphones on my belly and he can listen.  He was dancing away!  Love it!

Lazy Tuesdays??

So I have to admit, I'm LOVING this Tuesdays off work stuff.  Its a nice break when I need it, and it allows me one guaranteed day to sleep in a little (hey when you're getting up at 5 most days, 8:30 feels like noon!)

It does have its drawbacks though.  Like today for example.  I had to get a filling done and my OB wanted me to wait until at least 24 weeks to do it, and this was the first they could get me in.  Works out well really; it means I don't have to take time off work to make it happen.  I scheduled it for this morning thinking that I would then be able to come home and relax for a couple hours while the Novocaine wore off (can I just say how much I HATE Novocaine), and then get a couple things done in the afternoon if I felt up to it.  Unfortunately A has other plans.  HE wants to have a productive day today...ALL DAY.  His f@cebook status this morning was "sleep... glorious sleep!! Now to be productive today!"  UGH.  Don't get me wrong I'm glad he's motivated.  I just wish sometimes that HIS being motivated didn't require ME to be motivated.  SO instead of laying around and being lazy today, I have a list of things that I should get accomplished. 


Now before you jump his gut, in his defense, everything that is on my list is things that I have either a) needed to get done since the first of the year, or b) need to get done so he can remove old wallpaper and prime the nursery.  But still...I DON'T WANNA. *pout*  I just want to lay around and be lazy for a couple of hours because my left eyeball is numb.  I want to be a little pitiful cause I've felt like crap for a week and dang it I deserve a pitiful lazy day once in a while.  Then he reminds me that we are only 13 weeks from this baby being here, and probably only 6 weeks from me really being up to doing much at all, so I should take advantage of every minute I have.


Gosh I hate it when he's right.  Guess I should stop procrastinating and go help.  If I don't want him to throw out everything in the last couple boxes of stuff that are in the nursery, I really need to go and sort through them myself.  


*Sigh* 

Wake-up times and Nosebleeds and 26 Weeks...oh my!

What a crazy week it has been!  A and I started our new schedules the first of the year, working 4 10 hour days instead of 5 8 hour days, and it has been quite the project getting used to it.  We're nearly done with the second week, and I'm still struggling to get my butt up that extra hour and a half early.  Why is it that going into work an hour earlier requires an extra half hour of prep?  I'm a night time showerer, and I used to be able to roll out of bed and be ready to walk out the door 30 minutes later no problem.  With this shift in leave time though, I'm lucky if I'm ready within 50 minutes of getting out of bed.  I don't know if I'm just getting slower because it's harder to move quickly or what, but it's really annoying.  I wasn't counting on loosing an hour and a HALF of sleep, just an hour, so this is totally throwing me off!  I have GOT to get myself to bed by 10.  Then I'm in pretty good shape.  Any later than that, and getting up on time just doesn't happen.

Monday night turned into quite the eventful, albeit craptastic evening.  I got out of a meeting about 2:45, got back to my desk, and about 3 my nose started bleeding, again.  Ok no biggie, I clamped down on it, sat relaxed at my desk for 5 minutes and figured it would be all good.  Not only did it not stop, but what was a one nostril bleed turned into a double.  So I clamped down on both sides and figured I'd give it another 5 minutes.  Tick Tock Tick Tock, 5 minutes later, still bleeding...GREEEAAAATTT.  OB's instructions were to call if I had one last longer than 10 minutes, so I call.  The nurse tells me to keep up the pressure and add ice in 5-7 minute increments and if it hasn't stopped by 3:45 or 4 I should probably got to promptcare.  Ok.  A runs down tot he corporate nurse and gets me a couple crack pack ice packs and I sit with ice and tissues on my face for the next 30 minutes.  3:45 rolls around and I think we might be done so I sit up from where I was leaned over my desk and woosh!  Here it comes again.  So off to Prompt care we go.  We get there, my BP is really high (for me, still not be concerned high), and the doc can't see the source of the bleeding, so when it's still bleeding after another 10 minutes there, he sends me upstairs to the ENT.  The ENT does her thing with the scope down my nose, sees the source and say we're going to try packing your nose first.  So she shoves some cotton halfway to my brain, and we sit for another 10 minutes (probably at an hour and a half of bleeding at this point).  The nurses up there were so sweet, and I was so grateful to them, you could tell we were keeping them from going home.  Anyway, 10 more minutes go by, we pull out the packing (which attached itself to my toes at this point) and wait...nope still bleeding.  So what now?  We'll have to cauterize it she says.  Oh BOY!  She sticks these brown chemical laden swabs up my nose and rubs it all around my open blood vessel.   Let me just tell you this is one of the most UNCOMFORTABLE experiences I have ever had.  Never mind the wooden stick halfway to my brain or the cold metal nostril spreader stretching my poor nose 3 times its normal size, that crap sting like a $&^#$*!  The NP warned me that I was going to want to say a bad word, and although I didn't curse at her, I did almost puke right there on her nice white lab coat.  We left there around 5:15 with all sorts of fun stuff for me to squirt up my nose and strict instructions not to blow my nose for 2 Weeks!  Are you serious?  I've made it so far, but if this sinus congestion doesn't go away soon, it's going to be a loosing battle I'm afraid.  So I spent most of Monday evening being miserable and most of Tuesday recuperating.  I feel much better now, and I do have to admit the saline gel and spray is helping to keep my nose a little softer on the inside, but I still don't like it.  Oh well, when you figure this is really the worst problem I've had so far, I consider myself pretty lucky.


Survey Time!
How far along: 26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (As of 01/04/11) +10.8, 215.8
Maternity clothes: All maternity or stretchy knit skirts (I LOVE my Old Navy roll top skirts!). I cleaned all the pre-pregnancy clothes out of my closet this weekend. I got 2 new pair of Maternity pants that I love, but haven't been able to find true leggings or tights which I still need. Any suggestions?
Stretch marks: Another new one on my belly, this time on the right. It's still small, but I can see it starting to form. The ones on my hips from puberty are ANGRY! I've started using Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion for stretch marks, and it is taking most of the redness, tightness, and itching away. Loving it!
Sleep: Crazy good actually. I sleep through the night most nights, and although I have to pee pretty quick as soon as I get up, I'm not waking up in the middle of the night either
Movement: Lots and lots and lots! I love it! Felt the first batch of Hiccups this week, so FUN!
Cravings: Nothing weird...whatever I see an add for!
Aversions: Pretty much gone.  My love affair with food is back!
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force I keep a bottle of antacids in my purse, in my desk at work, in the bathroom at home and in the family room! Nose bleeds of course.
What I miss: Beer.  I'm not a big drinker, but I do appreciate a good beer now and again, and have to go all football season without one has really stunk.And this is really hard because A is a homebrewer, and had his homebrew club meeting this week.  I went to pick his "happy" butt up and they were sampling someone's Red Ale, which happens to be my favorite. :-( 
What I look forward to: Painting in the nursery and setting up furniture :-)
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute
Milestones: First Hiccups, starting to accumulate baby stuff.
Medical Concerns: Nose bleeds are the big one.  I'm ready to be done with that.
Weekly Wisdom: Listen to your body.  Do whatever it tells you it needs. 
Best moment this week: New Haircut on Tuesday!  I LOVE IT!!!!

Thirty-One Skirt Purse: A review

OK one of the things I said I wanted to do a while back was some honest real person reviews of products I've purchased.  Please know that I am not receiving any products or any compensation from any company.  These are simply items that I have purchased and used and my honest opinions about them.

Thirty-One Skirt Purse

My SIL is a Thirty-One consultant, and I bought this purse in October 2010.  I'm not typically a big purse snob, since I don't like to spend large amounts of money on myself.  I have a couple of secondhand Coach purses, and while I do like them a lot, I just can bring myself to spend the money on them.  So I usually but a purse once a year or so and carry it until it wears out, and then buy a new inexpensive one and the cycle continues.  Lately I've been feeling like I would like to have more flexible purse options so I can change my purse depending on the time of year, or outfit, or whatever else might be going through my mind at the time, but the truth is I HATE CHANGING PURSES.  There's nothing more annoying than getting used to the set-up of your purse, having it all organized so you know where everything is and then changing purses and now you can't find anything anything.  In walks the Thirty-One Skirt purse.  The premise is that you buy 1 purse (a solid that comes with one patterned skirt) and then you just buy additional skirts.  When you want to change the look of your purse, you just change the skirt a voila! you have a "new" purse.  I bought the combination you see above, as well as an additional skirt in a print called Floral Fanfare.  You can also get the base purse in black instead of brown.  As the seasons change the prints available for skirts will also change.  New ones will come out, old ones will be retired, so the options are consistently changing.

The Specs:

• Size: 15.5x9x3.5 (or 15x10.5x6.5 for the bigger City Skirt Purse)
• Color: Black or brown base purse, assorted prints for skirts
• Price: $42 for the base purse and 1 skirt, $15 for additional skirts. (plus tax and shipping)
• Where to buy: From your Thirty-One Consultant or contact me if you don't have one.

Likes:

• I LOVE the flexibility of changing the outside of this purse.  I used the floral print for most of the fall and changed it to the Red skirt after Thanksgiving.  It mad me feel like my purse had a sweet holiday flair to it.  Changing the skirts is quick and simple and doesn't require emptying the purse unless I've really stuffed it.  And all the skirts are machine washable so it it gets dirty it's easily fixed!
• It's a good size to carry enough stuff, but not carry so much it weighs 40 pounds.  I'm one of those people that if I carry a big purse I WILL fill it, so I force myself to carry a smaller purse.  This purse is 15x9 inches and only 3 inches wide, so plenty big enough for my wallet and other purse essentials, but not so big that I can load it up.
• The design of the skirts is very simple.  I've been able to make my own skirts out of fabric I have at home.  This gives me even MORE flexibility in patterns since I now have the WHOLE fabric store to choose from.
• I am a huge fan of hobo style purses.  The straps are just the right length for me to be able to put it on my shoulder easily, but not so long that it hangs down to my butt.  I can carry it on my shoulder, in the crook of my elbow, or just in my hand without having to worry about it dragging on the ground.
• It has a quick magnet closure.  I have a severe dislike of zippered purses.  I always feel obligated to keep them zipped, which then becomes a pain when I need to get in it quickly to grab something (like my phone) and it always seems like the zipper pull is getting in the way.  This purse has a single magnetic snap closure that is unobtrusive and effective yet easy to get in and out of.
• The skirts fold up nice and flat for storage.  I could store 10 or 12 in the same space that 1 additional purse would take up.
• Definitely Budget Friendly.  After the first purchase, $15 for a "new" purse sounds like a steal to me!

Dislikes:

• This purse is lacking in compartments.  It has one small zippered side pocket and a cell phone pocket in one wall.  The cell phone pocket is too small for my droid x, so instead it holds my work ID and business cards.  With no other dividers of any sort, it's just one big bag.  I ended up buying another pouch to put in it to hold my smaller, easily lost items like chap stick, nail file, and pens so I don't have to constantly dig around for them.
• I'm not a huge fan of any of Thirty-One's current prints other than the 2 I have.  And if one of these 2 wears out and they've been discontinued, I'm SOL on replacing it unless i can find it on e-bay or something.  Luckily I figured out the pattern to make my own skirts :-)
• While the straps are the perfect length for me, I could see how someone with longer arms that me would struggle to put it on her shoulder one handed.
• Since so much brown shows, I'm probably going to end up buying a black one too eventually.  But still switching between 2 purses is way more appealing than 5 or 6.

All in all I LOVE this purse.  It's a good size for me, ideal for my idiosyncrasies, and friendly to my frugalista budget.  I've been able to overcome most of the dislikes with small easy fixes.  Highly recommended!

Once Infertile, Always Infertile

At least emotionally anyway.  I think I've figured out why posting in the last month or so has been tough.  I've really been struggling with a barrage of emotions that I don't know how to deal with, and some of which I don't like.  I've realized that I'm not over all the crappy emotions that come with unexpected pregnancy announcements.  You know the ones, the people who you either thought would never in a million years have kids, or who you figured from comments they had made that they were struggling and just weren't ready to talk about it yet, or they said they were done and "oops".   I had one of those come up recently and it hit me really hard.  Harder than I'd really like to admit even here.

It was one of the toughest nights of my life.  I was upset because she got pregnant so easily...and not just upset, green monster jealous upset.  What made her so special that I had to wait 3 years and she only had 3 months?  I was upset with myself for being upset and not happy for her.  I was upset with A for not understanding why I was upset.  I was upset at myself for getting upset with him.  I was upset that she was suddenly the only pregnant person around.  I was furious with myself for being so selfish.  Do you see where this is going?  All these irrational feelings (and more) that were in total conflict with each other and yet I couldn't stop the barrage.

This was over a month ago, and it still hits me almost every day.  I feel like such a tool for feeling a lot of it.  Part of me thought being pregnant would be this magic switch that would just make all the bad feelings about other people being or getting pregnant go away.  The truth is, I'm now not sure I will ever get over it.  It totally sucks that A and I had to go through all we did to get to where we are.  3 years of waiting, 2 years of treatments, thousands of dollars of medication and procedures (thank God for good insurance) and I still don't really understand why.  Do I think we'll be better parents now then we would have been 3 years ago, Yes.  Do I think something good came out of our wait, Yes.  We've learned so much by watching the parenting styles of those around us.  We value EVERY second with each other and this baby right now, and I imagine it will continue once the little man is born. We will still make our own mistakes I'm sure, but I'm hoping that they will be less because of what we've read, observed, and been through.  Even though there will be struggles and frustrations, sleepless nights and fights, I hope that I will be able to look at my son and be grateful for the blessings.

Yet there will always be a part of me that says "that's not fair" when the high school girl down the street comes home pregnant or the barely 20 something newlywed has an oops.  And I don't like it.  But I don't know how to change it.  I don't know how to let go of the jealousy and the anger and the pain.  I can only hope that finally being able to hold my son will one day take some of that away.  I think it's too much to hope that it will all go away.  Just like with any loss, (and infertility even without miscarriages is a loss in my mind) the pain will lessen with time, but it never really goes away. 

I just hold on to the hope that it WILL lessen with time.  And in the mean time, I got really good at smiling and nodding these last 3 years, so I'll just fall back on that.

25 weeks

Survey Time!
How far along: 25 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: (switching to the Dr.'s scale, I don't trust mine anymore) +10.8, 215.8
Maternity clothes: All maternity or stretchy knit skirts (I LOVE my Old Navy roll top skirts!). I cleaned all the pre-pregnancy clothes out of my closet this weekend.  I got 2 new pair of Maternity pants that I love, but haven't been able to find true leggings or tights which I still need.  Any suggestions?
Stretch marks: Another new one on my belly, this time on the right.  It's still small, but I can see it starting to form. The ones on my hips from puberty are ANGRY! I've started using Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion for stretch marks, and it is taking most of the redness, tightness, and itching away. Loving it!
Sleep: Crazy good actually.  I sleep through the night most nights, and although I have to pee pretty quick as soon as I get up, I'm not waking up in the middle of the night either
Movement: Lots and lots and lots!  I love it!  A actually was able to feel it for the first time this week.
Cravings: Nothing major.  Still having mexican on a regular basis.
Aversions: Still having issues with hot sauce.  Just the smell makes me nauseous, which is bad because A puts hot sauce on almost EVERYTHING!  Nothing else has been really bad.
Gender: Team BLUE!!!!
Symptoms: Nausea is basically gone. Heartburn and Sciatica and in full force I keep a bottle of antacids in my purse, in my desk at work, in the bathroom at home and in the family room!  Nose bleeds kicked in high gear this week, hope it doesn't mean my BP is up...
What I miss: Ummm nothing comes to mind right now...
What I look forward to: Painting in the nursery and setting up furniture :-)
Moods: Up, down left, right, in, out....depends on the minute
Milestones: Viability!!! WOO HOO!
Medical Concerns: Nose bleeds....my glucose tolerance test that is coming up soon.  Thankfully since the weight gain has tapered off I think I'll be ok.
Weekly Wisdom: Once an infertile, always an infertile.  This last month has been really hard in some ways and I've realized that being pregnant doesn't magically erase all the pain that the 3 years leading up to this brought.  More on this to come.
Best moment this week: Seeing A's face when he really felt that first kick.  Finding regularity in the little man's movements and being able to predict them.

Back to the real world

So tell me, does anyone else have a husband who harasses you when you don't blog often enough?  Cause I sure do...and not just at home, NOOOOO he has to come on my blog and leave a comment and publicly harass me.  Oh well I guess it worked, cause here I am.  The good news is that in the new year I have switched my work schedule to 4 10 hour days, so I now have Tuesdays off until the baby comes.  At the very least, there will be a post every Tuesday.


So what's been going on in our household?  Well the primary thing is the MAJOR nesting that has hit both A and I.  I think I've mentioned this before, but in order to set up a nursery, we had to first re-do the office so I had somewhere to go with my sewing and crafting stuff.  The office is now complete, and there's only a few things left to clean out of the nursery so we can start painting up there.

A in our new FUNCTIONAL Office

We spent Christmas day and the day after with A's family in Southern IL.  Grammy (A's mom) was SO generous with gifts for the little man.  We got our new pack and play and the monitors I wanted.  Throw that in with the money my dad gave us for Nursery furniture and we're pretty much set for all the big stuff.  All I need now is to get the stroller/car seat from our friend who is giving us the one they used (assuming no recall problems) and then it's fun stuff!  I actually bought my first outfit last week, a Chicago Bears "Rookie" Onesie :-)  I'm going to warn you all now.  If you are a Packer fan, you may just want to stop following this blog.  There's going to be a LOT of Bears stuff on here for a while :-D

A got me a Doppler for Christmas!!!!  I was totally excited and it is so COOL to hear little Man's heartbeat any time I want!!!  It's a 1970's doctors office version, even has a sticker on it that says for use by or under the direction of a physician only!  It was so cool to be able to take it to his mom's house and let her hear the HB. 

I took the whole week between Christmas and New Years off.  Most of that time was spent working on the office and nursery, but it was apparently a much needed break.  I didn't get up before 9 any day, and it wasn't like I was going to bed later than usual.  I think my body just needed some extra rest.  Everything went great, except for the fact that I had a nose bleed almost every day.  It was so strange, I would sit up in bed and within a minute (before I had time to stand up) the gushing would start!  We have a humidifier in our bedroom, so I think the real problem is that I am not drinking enough.  Especially when I'm at home.  At work I do pretty good as long as I get off my duff to fill my water bottle, but at home I'm terrible.  Since Sunday I have pushed myself to fill (and empty) my 28oz water bottle at least 3 times during the day, and succeeded.  Lo and behold I have not had a nose bleed since Sunday Morning, so maybe I'm on to something here.  I do have a doctors appointment later today, so we'll also be able to rule out elevated blood pressure I will talk to him about other natural solutions.

The last big bit of news is that we've decided to Cloth Diaper!  I was really interested in this route from the get go, but A was very against it at first.  Then he did some reading about all the environmental impacts of disposable diapers and changed his mind.  We are generally environmentally conscious people.  We do little things here and there, Rain water collection for our garden, eating locally whenever possible, basic water and energy conservation, that kind of stuff.  We're really bad a bout recycling, but that's mainly because we don't have pick-up in our area and don't have a good way to keep trash separated from recyclables in our house.  I think that may be a definite project before baby gets here, but I digress.  Anyway, A's sister has been cloth diapering for years, and we talked to her extensively about what she likes and dislikes, but I'm curious about other people.  Those who plan on using cloth, what are you getting?  Those who have used cloth in the past, what did you like/dislike/hate?  We're thinking pre-folds and covers for home and pockets and inserts for travel/daycare (assuming the daycare we choose will accept them).  I would love an guidance anyone has, so send it my way.

I can't believe I'm at nearly 25 weeks already.  It's been going so fast!!  I have to say I love being pregnant, and I'm loving all the craziness that comes with it.  I'll leave you with the pictures we took this weekend..it's crazy how much different I look!!!

24 weeks!

Oh I almost forgot!  if there's anyone who was a size 10-14 prepregnancy that needs some more maternity clothes, let me know.  I have a friend who gave me a bunch of stuff, and there's a bit that's too small for me.  If you can use it, you can have it for shipping costs.  There's some casual stuff, some business casual stuff.